Five things to do when you're on Work for the Dole

This week, the Federal Government released details of its expanded Work for the Dole scheme.  Under the proposal, Australians aged under 30 will be required to work 25 hours per week to receive their welfare payments. Those aged between 31 and 49 will have to work 15 hours and the over 50s can undertake an “approved activity” for 15 hours a week, which probably doesn’t include lawn bowls at the local RSL.

Employment Minister Eric Abetz has explained the policy and how a person might benefit from it in simple terms. Two job applications a day – one in the morning, one in the afternoon. Did you hear there’s a shortage of bricklayers in Melbourne? A spot of community work (averaging five hours a day) sandwiched in the middle. And voila! A young person has fulfilled their ‘mutual obligation’ for the dole cheque that they can access six months from now. In the meantime, there are a few constructive things they could be doing. Let’s walk through those options.

1. Volunteer to help small businesses sort and file rubbish job applications.

“The small business person might be having a lousy day and no customers are coming in, but she’ll be getting job-seekers,” said Peter Strong of the Council of Small Business Australia, nailing the problems confronting the SME sector. Job seeking is all about solving the employer’s problem, not yours. So forget pretending you’ve got barista skills and instead, tell the small business proprietor that you understand their frustration at having to read another bloody CV from a hopeless case while they’re standing around waiting for customers to walk in. Say you’ll take care of that for them. Then set up a booth beside the deli counter and practice saying, “Thank you. I’ll be sure to be in touch should a suitable position become available.” Make sure you have a baseball bat at the ready. Given the stampede expected by small businesses, that should take care of about four of your five daily hours of ‘work’ time.

2. Help a pollie get that book out of them. We know they’ve all got a trilogy in them (Aspiring Me, My Time As Leader, After They Ditched Me The Bastards). An unexamined life is not worth living and a career in politics is worth zip if you don’t write a book about it. But politicians are short on time, so why not offer to shadow one for a few months, take voluminous notes and show you can multitask by filing their Cabcharge receipts into neat bundles. “Wedding – Friend. Wedding – Attended only to spruik policies. Wedding – shitfaced, can’t remember whose it was.”

3. Get yourself a shovel and gardening gloves and take some Direct Action. Greg Hunt’s Direct Action climate policy involves planting 20 million trees to drink in the stinking rotten carbon coming out of the brown coal industry. So far, we haven’t seen so much as a seedling from this policy. But I think it’s fair to say, the greening of Australia will have to start soon, so watch a few episodes of Backyard Blitz and start practicing your speed-planting skills by snipping off a few Agapanthus stems from the neighbourhood and transplant them into pots. Take these into Centrelink as evidence of your transferable skills.

4. Hold up the cue cards for Bill Shorten. This isn’t as daunting as it seems. Just grab two pieces of cardboard – either side of the box you sleep in will do – and in big black texta, write “Inside voice” and on the other, “Ranty, union-days, indignant voice”.  Just make sure you hold up the right one at the right time. This will be a real confidence boost, because whoever’s doing the job now keeps stuffing them up.

5. Develop an App. Applying for jobs is so, like pre-GFC. Don’t wait for the government to create a whole new industry to replace the manufacturing, retail and green energy sectors they’ve decimated, get cracking on making your own! Start with low hanging fruit, such as an App modelled on pollie speak that will help you and your fellow job seekers respond to unwanted questions about your employment status. Pre-loaded with impenetrable scripts from expensive consultants, it could go something like this:

Q: Why have you been out of work for 4 years?

A: That’s an operational issue.

Q: Why are you interested in this position?

A: I’m not a Job Snob. 

Q: Can you describe your previous role? 

A: Yes. It was called, Operation Sovereign Bong Smoking Hour. It was necessary to protect the one hour a day I had for non-mutual-obligation activities from further incursions. 

              

There might not be any jobs, but there’s a lot of work to be done. So pull up your socks and get cracking.

Diana Elliott is a freelance writer.

Australia's gone cold on climate change action

 

"Is it just me or is it getting a bit balmy in here?"

Australia’s eastern seaboard is basking in a record-breaking stretch of warm days, two weeks out from the official start of winter. Everybody’s talking about the weather, but hardly anyone's mentioning the climate. As in - change, action, what are we doing? We’re the well-fed lobsters in the slowly boiling pot – screaming at the injustices of the budget to our hip pockets, analysing the nuances of a wink and ignorant of policy that sets out how we’ll play our part in averting a looming climate crisis (not using the term loosely).  

The budget is tough. It’s about heavy lifting, doing your bit and if you don’t, they’ll be not-so-subtle pressure applied to make sure you do – earn or learn, get a job or work for the dole, type of thing. But curiously, the one policy area where sticks would work more effectively than carrots doesn’t have any. Climate change. The Artic ice cap is melting at record levels. Local councils across the country are modelling the impact on sea rises on their coastal communities. Businesses are factoring in the impact of climate change into their strategic plans. But the Government is silent. And as a society, we’re complicit.

In his 3500-word Budget speech, Joe Hockey did not mention ‘climate’ once. In fact, he neglected to allude to any policies regarding ‘Direct Action’, the Coalition’s policy on climate change. The plan is to establish the Emissions Reductions Fund to pay big emitters to build new 5-star energy rated offices, or something. Who would know? The Government will also plant 20 million trees, which will supposedly drink in all the carbon from the atmosphere. Where are these trees going and who’s planting them? The Coalition rarely talks about its Direct Action policy, because we’ve given up holding them to account on climate change.

They’ve also appointed climate skeptic, Dick Warburton, to review Australia’s previously committed to Renewable Energy Target. I don’t mean to be skeptical about a skeptic, but I doubt he’s going to recommend we stick to the current target, let alone a higher one. “China’s making more mess!” will come the inevitable argument.

Some days it’s hard not to feel sorry for Malcolm Turnbull, the man who staked his Opposition leadership on supporting the former Rudd Government’s push for an Emissions Trading Scheme, and lost, watching the whole war on climate change be abandoned shortly afterwards. In 2010, Turnbull  told Parliament, “Climate change is the ultimate long-term problem. We have to make decisions today, bear costs today so that adverse consequences are avoided, dangerous consequences are avoided many decades into the future.”

It’s laughable to think how far away Australians now are from the idealistic, passionate commitment to climate change that existed only a few short years ago. Before the 2007 election, Kevin Rudd declared, “Climate change is the greatest moral, economic and social challenge of our time.” And then the economic grim reaper – the GFC – killed off efforts to do anything other than focus on getting people out buying white goods again.

“Even Howard…” is a phrase used at the moment to compare Abbott’s performance against that of his self-reported political idol. Well, “even Howard” kicked off Australia’s climate change action in 2007 by laying the groundwork for an emissions trading scheme.

Meanwhile in the US, the Obama administration has just released a very slick, comprehensive study titled the National Climate Assessment. The President is on the road debating its findings with television weather forecasters, because despite their lack of scientific credentials, 62 per cent of Americans trust them on climate change far more than they do climate scientists.  

While Tony Abbott stands with smirking lips beside state Premiers, declaring himself the Infrastructure Prime Minister, President Obama is determined his legacy will be to finally do something meaningful about his country’s contribution to climate change.  The Australian Government is preparing to skittle the Australian Renewable Energy Agency (ARENA), the Climate Change Authority and the Clean Energy Finance Corporation, each of which was designed to promote, regulate and remove barriers to high polluters switching to clean energy and which were already contributing to a reduction in emissions.

Next month, the US Environment Protection Agency will launch the most dramatic anti-pollution regulation in a generation, with a sweeping crackdown on carbon. While our government throws our cash at dirty polluters hoping they’ll come up with something novel, Obama is forcing the behavioural change, because sometimes, tough love is what’s needed. Perhaps this is one of the advantages of knowing you can’t run for a third term in the US – short-sighted, politically motivated parochial interests give way to a desire to leave a legacy that will endure for generations beyond.

In his Budget speech, Hockey finished by saying, “As Australians, we must not leave our children worse off. That’s not fair. That is not our way.” He could have been talking about climate action.

But he wasn’t.

Diana Elliott.