Showing posts with label Australian Liberal Party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Australian Liberal Party. Show all posts

Monday, 4 July 2016

Leave Malcolm Turnbull alone!


Inspiration comes from the most unlikely of places.
I can’t stand it any longer. The continued, ‘stacks on’ style waves of abuse towards Malcolm Turnbull. He was too left. He was too right. He was too rich, too optimistic, too cynical, too lame, too ‘innovative’, too smooth, too lazy, too CEO-like, too willing to compromise. Basically, being Malcolm Turnbull – the best Prime Minister we’ve never yet had – totally sucks right now. Page after inglorious page, grab after glib grab, calling for him to be dismissed/resign/stand down/bring Tony back et ceteraet cetera. Judging by the News Limited pages, I may well be the lone voice of support for Malcolm in the entire country. My distress at the unfettered piling-on of vitriol towards the man who could make our country great if only he could break free of the conservative leash has reached a zenith, not unlike that of Chris Crocker’s “Leave Britney Alone” immortal YouTube plea circa 2007. Given my grief in this moment, forgive me for repurposing the transcript of that compelling outpouring of emotion against the Brittany Spears’ haters here for my own means. 

[SCENE OPENS TO SMUDGED AND RED EYES. HERALD SUN PAGES WITH HEADLINE ‘TURNBULL’S FINISHED!’ SPREAD OUT ON BED.] 

The world needs to know that Britney Malcolm Turnbull still has her his fans. Britney Malcolm needs to know that she he still has her his fans. 

How fucking DARE anyone out there make fun of Britney Malcolm after all she’s he’s been through?! She He lost her his voice aunt and Wyatt Roy and she went through a divorce he was totally castrated from doing anything resembling policy-making by the right wing nutbags! She has two fucking kids So what if he’s rich? Do you think just because Bill Shorten can’t pronounce with without sounding like whiff that he didn’t go to a top tier private school and had all the trappings of a blue blooded (not collared) upbringing? Her husband Tony Abbott turned out to be a user, a cheater, and now Brittany’s Malcom’s going to go through a custody leadership battle! 

All you people care about is Bernardi, Andrews and your wounded bird Tony Abbott and and making money off of her Malcolm out to be the scapegoat for the most diabolical first term (yeah Malcolm was at the helm for only eight months of it you losers) government that ever was. SHE’S HE’S A HUMAN! What you don’t realise is that Britney’s Malcolm’s making you all this money saved your bacon from political oblivion and all you do is just write a bunch of crap about her him. She So he wasn’t dripping in the requisite humility and hand-wringing we’ll do better, lots of lessons to learn here blah blah blah at 1.30am on the Election Night when he had the ‘flu and it’s been the longest campaign in history and still after all those weeks and hours there’s still no damn result and he can’t even crack the Moet and whip out that rousing speech he’d prepared nine years earlier. And some loser candidate somewhere wanted him to say sorry you lost your seat, with the operative words there being YOU and LOST and YOUR. So he didn’t behave like the performing seal that Alan Jones wanted him to, like Tones would have done, but don’t worry Jonesy, Tones trotted out the lines to the waiting media when he was pumping up his own (bicycle) tyres the next morning, giving a really good impression of someone who cared deeply that Wyatt and the Other Malcolm Sympathisers lost their seats. 

LEAVE HER HIM ALONE! YOU’RE LUCKY SHE HE EVEN PERFORMED STEPPED UP FOR YOU BASTARDS! LEAVE BRITNEY MALCOLM ALONE! Pleeeease. Paris Hilton Alan Jones talked about professionalism and said if Britney Malcolm was professional, she he would have pulled it off no matter what. Speaking of professionalism when is it professional to PUBLICLY BASH SOMEONE WHO’S GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME and especially when that person is the current Prime Minister of Australia? LEAVE BRITNEY MALCOLM ALONE! PLEEEEASE. 

Leave Britney Spears Malcolm Turnbull alone right NOW! I mean it. Anyone who has a problem with her him has to deal with me. Because she’s he’s not well right now. He’s got the ‘flu and FFS, they’re not even going to be finished counting the votes for another bloody two weeks and then we’ll probably have another election because Australian voters might always get it right, but they didn’t get it right enough. [CAMERA CUTS TO TONY ABBOTT WINKING CREEPILY TO BOLT, JONES, BERNARDI, ET AL]. 

[CRIES DRAMATICALLY. PULLS COVERS BACK OVER HEAD]. 

[FADE OUT]. 

Diana Elliott is a freelance writer. 

Monday, 22 February 2016

Will the real Liberals please stand up?


Tony Abbott, in his world tour of far right, Christian lobby group speaking engagements, has never seemed more comfortable in his own skin. Free of the need to putty over the wide chasm between his personal beliefs and that of his party, Abbott is looking and sounding more confident than he has in years. Gone is the halting, repetitious speech patterns, designed to slow his mouth from uttering what’s really on his mind and activate instead the soulless three-word slogans. 
Abbott now is the Abbott that was always there lurking beneath the blue ties, the hair rinse and the more latent attempts to buffer away the sharp right edges of his political demeanor. He's become the unabashed poster boy for the conservative right of the Liberal Party which has Malcolm Turnbull on a very tight leash. “Don’t start carping on about the climate change crap again. Stay away from gay marriage and forget about cutting ties to the Mother Country,” say the chorus of this group, comprised of Eric Abetz, Corey Bernardi and Kevin Andrews. Abbott’s not using his demotion to the backbench to snidely undermine Turnbull – he’s out there openly articulating a call to arms to the disaffected in the electorate.
Malcolm Turnbull believes in free markets, free country (a republic) and free choice of an individual to marry whomever he/she pleases. He acknowledges climate change and like a true liberal, believes market forces can solve the problem. 
So who is ‘more Liberal’ – more representative of their party? The problem is, both are it seems, and it’s the fault line that threatens the future of the party. Turnbull appears to be much more aligned to Menzies’ “Liberal Creed”, articulated in 1964. “As the etymology of our name 'Liberal' indicates, we have stood for freedom... We have learned that the right answer is to set the individual free, to aim at equality of opportunity, to protect the individual against oppression…” 
How can you believe in small government, liberty and freedom of enterprise, but not of individuals or country, as the conservative right do? As PM, John Howard extrapolated Menzie’s vision to declare the party “…a broad church”. But it’s like putting pagans and devout Christians together under one roof – the building may resemble a church in structure, but the fundamental elements that make it a church – a place of worship for people of a singular faith – are missing. And someone’s sure to burn it down. 
In the US, Donald Trump is like the Pied Piper, merrily dancing through America’s white, middle class lands playing a tune that has proven surprisingly seductive to a growing majority. In droves they are falling in behind him, this man once dismissed as a joke, now seen as a messiah to the disaffected – the American Dreamers who feel they’re living a nightmare. 
As Abbott warmed up for his speech to the Alliance Defending Freedom group, it’s hard not to think this is all part of a calculated trajectory, one that is fuelled by the disaffected right of the party and stoked by powerful media and conservative right campaigners such as Rupert Murdoch, Alan Jones and others. Whether the end game is a new political party founded on the principles of the conservative right, or a mutiny of Turnbull’s progressive agenda (as has already begun with the gay marriage plebiscite) is yet to be seen. But something’s up. And given Labor is dead in the water, the time for a Liberal revolution may paradoxically be just right.
Turnbull needs to do some soul searching about what his policy mantle will be before this year’s election. Will he allow himself to be straight-jacketed and rendered facile by the far right? Or will he get the bit between his teeth, lead with policies that will deliver real economic and social change for our country, and stand on the platform of true liberalism that champions the freedom of individual, business and country? 
While he’s showed benign support of Abbott’s right to speak at such events like the ADF, Turnbull would do well to keep an eye on his predecessor’s extracurricular backbench activities. In his blatantly self-congratulatory speech during the Margaret Thatcher Lecture last year, Abbott may have hinted at his hitherto unthinkable resurrection. “The lesson of Margaret Thatcher's life is that strong leaders can make a difference; that what's impossible today may be almost inevitable tomorrow.” 
Diana Elliott is a freelance writer.